The Hidden Side of everything

This One goes Out to UsA.

2009-10-01T17:11:00.003+05:30

UsA, this one goes to you.

To all the late night chats, and early morning chats, and the late afternoon ones.
The sms's sent via way2sms.com (that's product placement), and g talk's and facebook.

To messages and wall posts and pokes.
*Sigh*

Sigh, Paramore, you still refuse to send a me a picture.

PAramore, I need more you.

When will you come to Delhi?

PS: SuV, thank's for the botched up marriage :P

The times, they are a changing.

2009-09-11T09:56:00.003+05:30

The Pina Colada News Network Reporting.

The controller of Student's destinies , the CBSE in it's infinite wisdom has decided to scrap the board exams for 10th standard. We spoke to various people to get their views.

We are here with the CBSE chairman, getting his views on how it reduces exam stress.

"Erm.....I have great Pleasure in announcing the shifting of the stress from 3 months, to 24 months. With this, as per all the Mathematics Ph.D's in our hallowed institution, the per unit stress has been reduced. ".

In a flashback to the Jagganath Mela and the Amarnath Yatra , scores of students and parents could be seen attending mock funerals for exams.

The Network spoke to one of the ecstatic students.
"it's so great", She gushed. "Now, instead of studying for 3 months , I can study for 24 months and deal with colourful projects everyday. Me and my friends are so excited, that we are off to McD's oops, McDonald's to celebrate. And we'll get you a happy meal toy, nice reporter"

Her eager friend pitched in with news of a free sale.
"There's a new 50+50 % off at this newly launched store. We have already called a couple of trucks for all the clothes we will be buying, I mean getting, as it will all be free , no?"

The Head of Liquor sales had a solemn face at a hastily called together news conference.
"We believe that liquor sales will drop , as students, sorry parents (As a peon coughed discreetly), will have no more end of exams to celebrate. To overcome the revenue loss, we propose a tax on people taking the Board exams by choice."

On a totally unrelated note , sales of Amul utterly butterly delicious were up, as Students probably stocked up to butter their teachers for those life saving marks.

Tuition centers could be seen engaged in life-saving operations.
" We plan to start a fashion studio, and a sports center, so that students get their extra curricular marks. Also, I plan to only use those products built by my students before this year".

An ecstatic parent said,
"It's so great! Last year my Khandaani reputation went down, as my daughter was the Delhi zone's topper, but her cousin was the all India topper. Now, my younger daughter can concentrate on being a debutante. I was so worried about her. She was spending all her time with one Mr.R.D.Sharma. It wasn't too good for her marriage prospects. "

And old timer, a grandpa we spoke to, was skeptical and resisting change.
"I have grave reservations. If a helicopter carrying the education minister crashes into the hills, because the pilot could not calculate the minimum velocity required, I'll know which year's batch it was".

But this skeptical, backward looking attitude was not shared by all, as Sugar free Mithai Seller's recorded brisk sales.

A Pina Colada News Presentation.
Part of the Cunning Linguist group.

PS: Thanks, Shreya and Urmika for bullying me into doing this. Vuww you too.
PPS: You can comment here. And then on facebook.

The Name's Bing. Microsoft Bing. And Thy's Turkey is done.

2009-06-02T16:22:00.005+05:30

Sorry Chandler, someone beat you to your name.

For all not aware, here is Bing.

Google's new Achilles heel.

One of the features of Microsoft’s just launched search engine is that it auto-plays videos in results when you hover over them.

Obviously, Devious people abound. Like anything.

Just in case you wondered, Loic is a nice guy who made Seismic, a slightly horrendous product.
And the first thing he searched for?

Duh.

Himself.

And, to do this. <Insert standard legal disclaimer here>

Access bing.com
Change the location to US. Top left.
Remove parents.
Search.
Remove safe search.
Hover the image and it starts playing. *And* it plays more than one at a time. Just jiggle your mouse around a bit.
Enjoy.

Oh, and the Bing team's response?

PS: I won't shake your hands in congratulations, cause I know what they have been up to.

PPS: No, I haven't seen it. But I did test it. My Flash Player 10 is wonky.

Living On A Prayer

2009-03-20T09:46:00.003+05:30

Allow me first to give a little girlish giggle.

*giggle*

It's exam time, folks, and yet I can be found wandering around facebook (usual), Lifehacker(usual) and Yahoo(unusual).

All said and done , can someone help me?

I am currently in equilibrium, but the "Force" exerted from other sources is too much.

I need Help.

And have "issues"

God, Give me the strength to change what I don't like.

[Edit]

2009-03-17T10:17:00.003+05:30

Yea!

Wikipedia.

Makes my homework.

My research.

If it wasn't for wikipedia, so many innocent children would have been butchered by evil demonic teachers.

So many Journalists wouldn't have gaffe-d there way through reports.

I freakin ♥ Wikipedia.

No, you may NOT edit this post.

Boardom

2009-02-18T12:10:00.003+05:30

Right now, right here, is the time when I am not giving the boards.

And I am so happy.

I would say that board exams are one of the biggest frauds in this universe, and any parallel ones.

The boards are just designed to make you look smaller, by showing you how little you know, and how failures can get in the high nineties.

Thus i have decided to become a ignoramus or "informationally impaired"

Cheers to that.!

Well...

2009-02-01T10:56:00.001+05:30

Exam time is nearer.

Stud or stud-ious?

Never mind.

Having spent a long time fixing the theme, tell me how it looks.
:-P

The world will never be the same, and you (Mrs. Recession) are to blame.

2009-01-09T15:35:00.003+05:30

Must conserve ink. Its recession time, you know.

A theta by any other name

2009-01-07T18:28:00.003+05:30

I. AM.SO.LAZY.

Next post around 14th :-)

The general theory of relativity:abridged

2009-01-01T00:00:00.001+05:30

Happy new year, denizens of the earth. Although I originally planned to put up a nice "little" article, it expanded into a "humongous big thesis", and it in my opinion being a rough draft , was scrapped for now. Expect to see that somewhere near the 15th. Sorry about that, Rohan Bhaiya. On a brighter note, I (and my pen and scale) have tried their hand at a little humour. Tell me how it is ( if my humour has a tumour, do tell me) ,and allow me to get the next cartoon online around the 7th. See you , and hope there are no 404's in 2009.

3.1

2008-10-23T15:53:00.001+05:30

yes!
ff 3.1 is going to be out!
im so darn excited.
Open Source is cool.
Seriously.
(PS:3.1 was also the 1st version of windows).

2008-08-19T11:42:00.001+05:30

Once upon a time, in the pre-internet days, neither of us would have even thought of calling each other friends. We'd have called ourselves friends of friends or distant friends who met once and yet, for some reason, kept sending each other grammatically challenged, CAPITALISED, inappropriately coquettish letters with photos of ourselves attached. The delete button and the trashcan would have been handy.

But now we're definitively friends, having taken a public vow of friendship on friend-based websites, wearing metaphorical friendship bracelets on the earnest Facebook, the punky MySpace and many more .You message me and comment about me and write on my walls and dedicate songs to me and invite me to join groups. More than once you have taken it upon yourself to poke me.

This is hard to say to friends, but our relationship is starting to take up too much of my and your time. It's weird that I know more about you than I do about actual friends I hang out with in person. In fact, I know more about you than I know about myself. The horror is, I can't opt out. Just as I can't stop making procasinating or ordering pizza (mmmmm) or I would die, I can't stop running up my tally of HI5 and Facebook friends or I'll look like a loser. Just as money made wealth quantifiable, social networks have provided a metric for popularity. Heck, the first thing you see on a person profile on HI5 is X fives, Y photo comments and Z friends. We all, oddly, slot in at a specific ranking somewhere below Bill Gates.

I'm sure social networks serve many important functions that improve our lives, like reconnecting us with old friends and finding out if people we used to date are still good-looking. And social networks all have messaging functions, which would be an excellent way to send information if no one had invented e-mail. But really, these sites aren't about connecting and reconnecting. They're a platform for self-branding. People are always worrying that our blogging and personal websites profiles are taking away our privacy, but they clearly don't understand the word privacy. We're not sharing things we don't want other people to know. We're showing you our best posed, retouched photos with inane comments like "look, how horrible i am". We're listing the Ayn Rand books we want you to think we've read all the way through, altough in reality, our NCERT and Mill's and Boon's more than suffice. We're allowing other people to write whatever they want about us on our walls, photos, blogs, unless we don't like it, in which case we just erase it. If we had that much privacy in real life, (i.e to erase what we don't like), then most people would retract the "I love you" they had said to people when they behaved as if drunk. (me included)

We are a blunt lot, in our demands that our friends go right now to check out our blog postings. We are, as a social network, all so awesome that we will soon not be able to type the number 1, because we will have destroyed the key by tying the exclamation point too often . (hi!!!! you are sooo awesome!!!!!)

I say we strip down our online communities to just the important parts. With enough venture funding and some computer geek who can run a server(say ahana) I hope to launch MyTrueSocialStatus.com on which users are allowed to submit only their name,a non-edited non photoshopped photo with all the flaws and smudged mascara, the square footage of their home and a list of any celebrities they happen to know. Then other people can vote, on a scale of 1 to 100, on how awesome they are.

At the end, those with the most points should get to wear a crown and be made King and Queen....be kicked out of their computers and made to undergo compulsory community interaction.

Smokers Anonymous.:an interview.sps.

2008-07-29T00:19:00.001+05:30

Lol...why am i doing this?
im vela.

1. How old were you when you started smoking?
Person A: My first drag was after my tenth board. played around a bit
during summer vacations in 12th, but was majorly hooked on for
some time during and immediately after my 12th boards.
Person B: I started in January 2008.(i.e around 15)
Person C: I was in ninth standard.

(Here the motto of the cigarette companies would be, catch 'em young, let them die young too!
I.e , after they get screwed by us and before we get sued by them.)

2. Who convinced you into your first smoke ?
Person A: nobody. out of curiosity.
Person B: Curious to know how it felt. Was frustrated too.
Person C: curious, just tried.

3. Did cigarette ads affect your decision to smoke?
Person A:"cigarette ads are banned in my part of the world". (However this is factually incorrect as cigarette companies have found a way around this. Where there is a will, there is a way!)
Person B:No
Person C:not really.

Ramadoss had justified his ban on smoking in films on the ground that 52 per cent of children took to smoking because of movie celebrities and advertisements. Somehow, i wonder if he did this survey the way we do our practicals, i.e , just make up all the data!

4. How does the first smoke feel like?
Person A: terrible.(wow! then why do ppl do it?)
Person B:"feels like a Marlboro" and an amazing experience. (smells like.....teen spirit!)
Person C: it stinks, but is wierdish nice. (????)

5. Do you think that putting large warnings or packets would make people
smoke less?
Person A:pictorial warnings could help. (i believe the same)
Person B:No
Person C: Nopes
6. Do you think smoking is better than the other three sins (ie drinking,
drugs and sex)
Person A:dude, are you being serious? sex? and why are these 'sins'? (TOTAL psycho. Drugs are not a sin? And s*x is condemned by every major religion in the world :-))
Person B: Drinking and driving. (:-P, someone is a goood person)
Person C:I don't think these are sins , so question is invalid. (lol.....this person is on the hiiighwayyy to hic.. hic... helll)

7. Does the fact that smoking harms your lungs change your resolve?
Person A:sometimes. (must have joined Smokers Anon)
Person B: Why should dying change my will? (omg! psychopath!)
Person C: I just tried it, it's not a habit. ( it could become one. Nicotine, you know)

8. What would your parents say if they had seen you smoking (at that
time)
Person A:they'd be speechless i think.(so do i, but after that they would be speech-ful)
Person B:They won't scold or ground me, even if I was caught drinking (lets swap, lol)
Person C: Won't scold.(nice :-P)

9. Did your friends try to discourage you?
Person A:haha.(this one word answer indicates the contempt the person holds his friends in, and has been construed to mean No)
Person B;Friend herself suggested it. She was smoking and i asked if i could take a puff.(dont lead me in2 temptation, I can find the way myself)
Person C: No, they were with me. (Devils Anon)

For the obvious question, the answer is no.

The title

2008-07-11T16:13:00.001+05:30

You may want to know what the title stands for. It stands for our society as a whole an the degradation witnessed. It comes from the Italy, the one where robbers once outnumbered insects. There the officer in concern of enforcing the law had two choices.

Take the money-Silver
Or die-lead

In latin known as plata o plomo. Funnily our society now has silver , lead or the jugaad!
Given a choice, what would you do?

LEAD
SILVER